The Circle Remains Unbroken

I went out this morning for my usual circle and prayer time. Standing in the center of the circle looking around I found that the circle was breaking up…

When I arrived here at this special place in the Bitterroot Valley of Montana, there were very special ancestors here to welcome me. In a large circle they each sat upon a horse, all in beautiful regalia, all focused on teaching and assisting me.

Today they were leaving. Some had already left and I could see them riding away upon their trusty steeds. Each had turned outward and was heading in the direction where they had stood for so many weeks with me, each helping to create my sacred circle.

Now as I watched them go I saw the circle going out in all directions.

“Where are they going?” I asked one of my trusty guides.

“They are going home, Cat. They came for a reason, and that reason is finished. It is over and it is time to go.”

I felt like the party was ending and I was just getting warmed up.

“But what about me? What am I supposed to do now?”

“Leave,” said one wise one who remained. He sat up high on his horse, and he was sitting in the northeastern section of the circle.

“Aren’t you going, too?” I asked him feeling pouty. I had nowhere to go, didn’t they know that?

“No. I will be going where you go…”

That was nice of him but what next? So I asked him and again he told me, “Leave. You’re finished here, too. We brought you here and you have learned what you needed to learn. You have shed an old skin and now it is time to go.”

I contemplated the days I had spent crying upon the Earth. Pain had come up from deep within me that needed to be released. I spent so much time crying and feeling such intense pain, I had asked Spirit, is this mine? How can this be all mine? I had never felt such intense grief and pain.

And Spirit had replied, “No, it is not your pain. It is pain from the Earth, from the tragedies and the wounds inflicted upon the Earth. It is the pain in the hearts of those you love. It is the pain of their past. It is the pain of those who have been killed, murdered, brutally driven from their lands. It is the pain of those who are suffering in other lands. It is pain for the Earth and her children.”

I had listened to the elders, to my guides, to the ancestors and I did as they instructed me. After I awakened each morning I would take a blanket outside, place it in my circle and lay upon my Mother. I would weep, sob, and release the pain I felt.

Each day as I wept I felt myself sinking deeper into her bosom. Each day I felt that someday I would reach the end of the pain.

And now they were telling me it was finished? I felt connected to the land, to the trees and the stream on this property. After the deep personal work I did with them, how could I leave them? The apple trees were now in full bloom, I was hoping I could stay to taste it’s sweet fruit.

But something said it was time. They were telling me the circle would remain unbroken, always, but it was time that each of us go and take the circle out to the people.

The wise one on the horse looking down upon me told me to get my horse, and to get ready to go…

I looked at my Dodge Charger in the driveway and opened up to the possibility.

A lease to break, dishes to pack and plans to make.

The circle was moving again. It was time to open up the circle.

I knew I had grown. A skin had been shed. And so it would be, that the circle would only expand, but never be broken…